535i

Nine Inch Nails - Right Where It Belongs

2005-05-04T19:52:00.000-07:00

see the animal in his cage that you built,
are you sure what side you’re on?
better not look him too closely in the eye
are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
see the safety of the life you have built
everything where it belongs
feel the hollowness inside of your heart
and it’s all right where it belongs

what if everything around you
isn’t quite as it seems?
what if all the world you think you know
is an elaborate dream?
if you look at your reflection
is that all you want to be?
what if you could look right through the cracks?
would you find yourself
find yourself afraid to see?

what of all the world’s inside of your head
just creations of your own?
your devils and your guns all the living and the dead
and you’re really all alone
you can live in this illusion
you can choose to believe
you keep looking but you can’t find the woods
are you hiding in the trees?

what if everything around you
isn’t quite as it seems?
what if all world you used to know
is an elaborate dream?
if you look at your reflection
is that all you want to be?
what if you could look right through the cracks?
would you find yourself
find yourself afraid to see?

Jesus seen floating on iceberg

2005-04-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

In a recent turn of events, Jesus H. Christ has taken it upon himself to protest the Lithu-Icelandic war by laying on an iceberg headed towards Iceland.

Many college students have tried to follow in his foot steps but drowned in a matter of moments. The remaing college students protested the ocean, saying that it was not giving them their right to peaceful protest.

The Vatican claims this to be a sign of the end. Taking advantage of the opportunity, the Pope has issued 'Straight-to-Heaven' pass that can be purchased for $500, with discount group rates. So far, the Vatican has sold 10 millions passes, to Bill Gates alone. Willy then proceeded to give them to the athiast children in some poor ass country whose name we cannot spell.

The Icelandic communists have not backed down on their promise to spork the lithuanians to death. They just haven't found the cheapest rates on cheaptickets.com yet. When one member of the party suggested expedia he was instantly sporked to death and roled down the street to have an example made of him.

When reached for comment the communist leader had only this to say, "I'm a communist, this Jesus you speak of means nothing to me."

The lithuanians still can not be reached for comment.

Jesus had this to say, "I'm not protesting anything damn it! I just wanted to take a walk, and I got tired, what the fuck? Does everything I do have to be profound?"

Lack of food has obviously put him in a state of disorientation. Jesus will soon realize that he is in fact protesting the war, whether he likes it or not.

When told the above, Jesus had this to say in retaliation, "I'm not some pansy ass PETA nerd you fuck face, come here bitch, let me teach you a lesson!"

***
This story is in memory of Robert Hangleflange who died while reporting this story after being blugeoned to death with a spork by Jesus Christ.

Aliens invade Baltimore, No one notices

2005-04-25T17:13:00.000-07:00

Under the cover of rain, aliens have invaded Baltimore. Sadly, as the title suggests, no one has noticed.

When asked to comment this Baltimoron said, "I blame Martin O'Malley." And another had this to say, "Good, maybe they'll cut muh grass mo better than tha otha aliens."

The Police Commisioner was replaced at once for not anticipating the invasion. The new commisioner said he will focus on the complete opposite subject.

Meanwhile, the aliens have set up shop in Fells Point where they seem to fit in most.

Resident alien, Quanisha had this to say "I ain't no damn alien you muthafucka, get tha fuck out my face 'fore I call da po po on yo ass bitch."

Iceland declares war on Lithuania

2005-04-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

In other news...

Two insignificant countries, Iceland and Lithuania, have delared war on each other. In a surprise move by the Iclandic communists sect, they overthrew the parlaiment by threatening to spork the opposition to death. Iceland, a primarily peaceful country, does not have an organized military to fight off potential coups, or enemies for that matter, so the communists took over.

With the ego-boost given to the communists they set their sporking eyes on Lithuania. When asked why Lithuania the communist leader Ingrad Marx had this to say, "That's where the dart landed." The dart-method could be considered rather brash, but that is only until one realizes that American President George W. Bush did the same thing. The only problem was that Bush drew his own map of the world and mislabled all of asia 'Iraq.'

Currently, the communists plan to go to cheaptickets.com to launch their invasion on Lithuania. Their spork toting military is in the process of obtaining passports and samsonite luggage. In a matter of days the Icelandic communists will be landing at Heathrow, and then some non-descript place in Lithuania, sporking innocent women and children to death.

When contacted, the only person in Lithuania with a telephone had this to say about the impending war, "Thank you for calling hot sex live, you're Lithuanian sucubus will be on the phone in 30 minutes..."

The Russians used their veto-in-advance power to knock down any potential resolution banning sporks in europe.

It will only be a matter of days before we see what will become of these two countries no one even knows exists.

Vatican bombs Greenland

2005-04-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

Talk about false advertising.

Yea, so as I was saying...

Oh wait I wasn't saying anything.

Well let me just pull an update out of my ass right-quick.

Right when you think I might be out of debt, I go and spend more money. This time it's a car. The BMW POS 535i is gone and has been replaced by a Black Cherry Pearl 05 Scion tC. It's a very nice car and I don't think it will be unique for long, but hey, I like it anyway. My cat who likes to destroy everything nice has already scratched it up, but that's nothing GS-27 can't remove. Screw the TV shit, I'll just go to wal-mart, same shit quality, just cheaper.

I'm making progress at work, I actually know how to do some things on my own, and I've helped out my co-workers once or twice. Today was a good day, I got to show my skills for once. At least I had the confidence to speak up when everyone else was puzzled. I think that is supposed to be a good thing.

My mother's computer has caught a mystery virus... The computer is acting very strange, I'm working on it...

Jaime was gone for awhile, I was sad, now she's back, and I am glad.

And that's about it for an update.

*******
Microphone Fiend - RATM

Yo, I was a fiend before I became a teen
I melted microphone instead of cones of ice cream
Music orientated so when hip-hop was originated
Fitted like pieces of puzzles, complicated
Shot grabbed the mic and try to say, yes y’all!
They tried to take it, and say that I’m too small
Cool, ’cause I don’t get upset
I kick a hole in the speaker, pull the plug, then I jet
Back to the lab ...without a mic to grab
So then I add all the rhymes I had
One after the another one, then I make another one
To dis the opposite then ask if the brother’s done
I get a craving like I fiend for nicotine
But I don’t need a cigarette, know what I mean?
I’m raging, ripping up the stage and
Don’t it sound amazing ’cause every rhyme is made and
Thought of, cuz it’s sort of...an addiction,
Magnatized by the mixing

E-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly.
An e-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly.
E-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly.
An e-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly.

But back to the problem, I gotta habit,
You can’t solve it, you silly rabbit
The prescription is a hypertone that’s thorough when
I fiend for a microphone like heroin
Soon as the bass kicks, I need a fix
Gimme a stage and a mic and a mix
And I’ll put you in a mood or is it a state of
Unawareness? beware, it’s the reanamator!
A menace to a microphone, a lethal weapon
An assasinator, if the people ain’t stepping
You see a part of me that you never seen
When I’m fiending for a microphone.
Cause I take it to the maximum, I can’t relax see, i’m
Hype as a hyperchrondriac ’cause the rap be one
Hell of a antidote, something you can’t smoke
More than dope, you’re trying to move away but you can’t, you’re broke
More than cracked up, you should have backed up
For those who act up need to be more than smacked up

E-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly.
An e-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly.
An e-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly.
An e-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly.

A smooth operator operating correctly.
A smooth operator operating correctly.
A smooth operator operating correctly.
A smooth operator operating correctly.

Uh!

Music orientated so when hip-hop was originated ...originated
Fitted like pieces of puzzles, complicated ...complicated
Music orientated so when hip-hop was originated ...originated
Fitted like pieces of puzzles, complicated ...complicated
Music orientated so when hip-hop was originated ...originated
Fitted like pieces of puzzles, complicated ...complicated
Music orientated so when hip-hop was originated ...originated
Fitted like pieces of puzzles, complicated ...complicated
Music orientated so when hip-hop was originated
Fitted like pieces of puzzles, complicated
Music orientated so when hip-hop was originated
Fitted like pieces of puzzles, complicated
Music orientated so when hip-hop was originated
Fitted like pieces of puzzles, complicated
Music orientated so when hip-hop was originated
Fitted like pieces of puzzles, complicated

’cause I’m an e-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly
An e-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly
An e-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly
An e-f-f-e-c-t
A smooth operator operating correctly

A smooth operator operating correctly
A smooth operator operating correctly
A smooth operator operating correctly
’cause I’m an e-f-f-e-c-t

Really, really short update

2005-04-05T17:35:00.000-07:00

-Old friends are over-rated
-My new job is awesome
-Taxes are confusing (I can't find my W2, if it was even given to me)
-English class is a pain
-Million dollar homes are cool, especially when your family owns one
-Mountain Dew kills, and it is addictive (I need help) *takes another gulp*
-Substitute teachers are like the gestapo
-Car horns can be fun
-911 can be fun too
-Dump trucks with no tail lights are not...
-Lo-Jack is cool
-LA Car chases are too
-Being paid 14.42 an hour to watch the chase is even cooler...
-I'm lucky to have Jaime

What time is it?

2005-04-02T23:54:00.000-08:00

I got my new room set up, I might paint it with black light reactive paint, but other than that I'm good.

I prt a new system in it, and some new lights, including a black light.

I've stayed up way too late and my motor skills are showing it... I feel perfectly fine, but I can tell how much slower I am moving. When the sun comes up I'll be better, which shouldn't be too long now 'cause it is 5:03.

My new sound system is awesome, the bass sounds so nice.

I might go see Sin City tomorrow, we'll see.

Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love (Cover)
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I've lost my lights
I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
You think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love
Tainted love

You Spin Me Right Round Baby

2005-03-31T07:39:00.000-08:00

I, don't wanna know your name
And I, don't want your private number, baby

All I know is that to me
You look like you're lots of fun
Open up your loving arms
I want some, want some

I set my sights on you (and no one else will do)
And I (I, I, I), I've got to have my way now, baby

All I know is that to me
You look like you're lots of fun
Open up your loving arms
Watch out here I come

Chorus:
You spin me right round, baby
Right round like a record, baby
Right round, round, round
(x2)

I don't want to be your friend now, baby
But I, I want to move in just a little bit closer

All I know is that to me
You look like you're lots of fun
Open up your loving arms
Watch out here I come

Chorus (x2)

All I know is that to me
You look like you're lots of fun
Open up your loving arms
Watch out here I come

Smack the ho

2005-03-30T16:47:00.000-08:00

My p i m p names, know 'em biotch!

Sheik J. Clinton
G. Digital J. Luthor
Magic Tickle. J. Slick
Fine Ass J. Kicks
Funk Master J. Slim

From here on out you shall all refer to me as Funk Master J. Slim.

Now alls I need is some ho's... I'll go find some.

P I M P

And for the skank ho's:

Here

*******

Woke up quick at about noon
Just thought that I had to be in Compton soon
I gotta get drunk before the day begins
Before my mother starts bitchin' about my friends
About to go and damn near went blind
Young niggaz on the block throwin' up gang signs
I went in the house to get the clip
With my Mac 10 on the side of my hip
I bailed outside and I pointed my weapon
Just as I thought the fools kept steppin'
I jumped in the fo' hit the juice on my ride
I got front and back, side to side
Then I let the Alpine play
I was bumpin new shit by NWA
It was "Gangsta Gangsta" at the top of the list
Then I played my own shit, it went somethin' like this:
Cruisin down the street in my six-fo'
Jockin' the bitches, slappin the ho's
I went to the park to get the scoop
Knuckleheads out there cold shootin' some hoop
A car pulls up, who can it be?
A fresh El Camino rollin', Kilo G
He rolls down the window and he starts to say
It's all about makin that GTA
Cuz the boyz n tha hood are always hard
Come talkin that trash and we'll pull your card
Knowin nothin' in life but to be legit
Don't quote me boy, I ain't said shit
Bored as hell and I wanna get ill
So I go to a place where my homeboys chill
Fellas out there, tryin to make that dollah
I pulled up in the 6-4 Impala
Greeted with a 40 and I start drinkin
And from the 8-ball my breath start stinkin'
I gotta get my girl to rock that body
Before I left I hit the Bacardi
Pulled to the house, get her out of the pad
And the bitch said something to make me mad
She said somethin' that I couldn't believe
So I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave
Started talkin' shit, wouldn't you know?
I reached back like a pimp and I slapped the ho
And her father stood up and he started to shout
So I threw a right-cross and knocked his ol' ass out
Cuz the boyz n tha hood are always hard
Come talkin that trash and we'll pull your card
Knowin nothin in life but to be legit
Don't quote me boy, I ain't said shit
Punk-ass trippin, but it's alright
Homey scored a kee, he's gonna fly
Punk-ass fly

Questionnaire

2005-03-29T06:12:00.000-08:00

I want to know what's going on in my baby's head when it comes to certain things...

So I have to talk to her sometime, just not on the phone. And since she is probably reading this now, she needs to remind me.

It'll be like a game of Scruples! Even though I've never played it, but that is beside the point.

I kinda just wrote this so I wouldn't forget about it later.

I would write what I was wondering, but I think it's a little... um... inappropriate.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

NIN - The Only Time

i'm drunk
and right now i am so in love with you
and i don't want to think too much about what we should or shouldn't do
lay my hands on Heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars
while the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car
nothing quite like the feel of something new

maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up in you
maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up in you
maybe i'm all messed up

this is the only time i really feel alive
this is the only time i really feel alive

i swear
i just found everything i need
the sweat in your eyes the blood in your veins are listening to me
well i want to wrap it up and swim in it until i drown
my moral standing is lying down
nothing quite like the feel of something new

maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up in you
maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up
maybe i'm all messed up in you
maybe i'm all messed up

this is the only time i really feel alive
this is the only time i really feel alive

maybe i'm all messed up in you

this is the only time i really feel alive
this is the only time i really feel alive
this is the only time i really feel alive
this is the only time i really feel alive

Bansky

2005-03-27T08:59:00.000-08:00

I think this guy is the shit...

Bansky

Code Red Float

2005-03-22T17:54:00.000-08:00

Boo ya! I have invented the greatest treat on earth! With only two, I repeat TWO ingriedients...

Mountain Dew Code Red
Cherry Italian Ice

Directions:

Pour Code Red on the Italian Ice.

Vee-Oh-La, there you have it, yum yum, what more can I say?

Authority

2005-03-22T11:05:00.000-08:00

I sit here at work, ironically not doing work... Well it isn't ironic when you know it's going to happen. Anyway... I'm sitting here at work yet again wearing my Rage shirt, though covered with a suit jacket, finding it strange that I work for a government that I don't really care for. I'm not saying the system doesn't work, it does, if the people are right, and I'm not going to blame it on the people, because not all of them are out of hand. It is more than likely a mix of both. But I don't want to get in to a political essay and find myself thinking I am stupid days later when I read my blog again. I just find it funny that I sit here at the NSA looking up different ideologies on the unclassified net all day. It's a recent development because as I am about to finish my tour I have nothing to do.

I'm going to find every way that I can to screw with mall security but, still keep myself allowed on the premises. You see, they kicked me out... because I looked at a camera after I went to the bathroom, after I put money into their stinking mall to buy breakfast. They said I was not allowed to be there during school hours. Fuck that, I am there all the time and never caught and graft, but now they give me trouble because "I was obviously up to no good." Dumbass rent-a-cop. So I said I would see her tomorrow, but I won't really because I don't have school. I think I should just go up for the hell of it. Most the things I can think of to do are immature or dumb... but there has got to be a way to get back at them without getting in trouble. Find some place where they don't have authority over me.

Why is it that authority has a problem with me? What have I ever done? Whether it be parental things, the police, or... well, the dumb rent-a-cop. I have done nothing to you people! Leave me alone! I don't have a problem with authority but you aren't helping yourselves by badgering me.

I'm not one to be kicked out of a mall either... I don't do anything out of place. I just mind my own business. But no, the rent-a-cops just can't stand for people looking at their cameras, so they have to kick them out, when ironically I was already leaving.

eish... What will I ever do?

...nothing.

********
Rage Against The Machine - Killing in the name

Killing in the name of!
Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses
Huh!

Killing in the name of!
Killing in the name of

And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
But now you do what they told ya
Well now you do what they told ya

Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites

Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses
Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses
Uggh!

Killing in the name of!
Killing in the name of

And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control (7 times)
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya!

Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Come on!

Yeah! Come on!

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Motherfucker!
Uggh!

Funny, funny...

2005-03-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

Woot! Universal health care for me!

Rage Against the Machine

2005-03-20T17:42:00.000-08:00

Finally! I have found a Rage hoodie. All frickin' day I've been looking for one and finally there is one on eBay. It cost me 46.99 but I think it is well worth it. Plus, my parents are giving it to me as an Easter present. I'm not really celebrating that holiday anyway because no one I know is going to be in the same state as me when the holiday comes around. So screw buying presents.

Anyway, back to Rage. I'm missing my poster and my Testify single CD, so I'm a little ticked. The poster should be obvious because it is huge, but somehow it is eluding my eyes. And the CD is god knows where because it is out of the case. I'm making an Mp3 mix of all the Rage I have, and I want my Testify remixes from the single version, but alas it is no where to be found. I did however, find my Garbage 2.0 CD, so that's kinda good I suppose.

I think I have been losing my identity over the past year or so, I just realized that today. So I fixed it, well a little bit anyway. Had to put away some of the stuff that has to do with my fiance, pictures etc. I was kinda smothering myself in it. Kinda funny. In cleaning up I found a ring that fits my finger, so I put it on my left ring finger to balance out the whole putting things away. I only have one picture out now.

Oh, I put a Rage sticker in the Bimmer's back window but it looked incredibly out of place so I took it out and put it in the Saturn, looks better there.

Oh well, must phone my fiance...

*****

Rage Against The Machine - Take the Power Back
Bring that shit in! Uggh!

Yeah, the movement's in motion with mass militant poetry
Now check this out...uggh!

In the right light, study becomes insight
But the system that dissed us
Teaches us to read and right

So called facts are fraud
They want us to allege and pledge
And bow down to their God
Lost the culture, the culture lost
Spun our minds and through time
Ignorance has taken over
Yo, we gotta take the power back!
Bam! Here's the plan
Motherfuck Uncle Sam
Step back, I know who I am
Raise up your ear, I'll drop the style and clear
It's the beats and the lyrics they fear
The rage is relentless
We need a movement with a quickness
You are the witness of change
And to counteract
We gotta take the power back

Yeah, we gotta take the power back
Come on, come on!
We gotta take the power back

The present curriculum
I put my fist in 'em
Eurocentric every last one of 'em
See right through the red, white and blue disguise
With lecture I puncture the structure of lies
Installed in our minds and attempting
To hold us back
We've got to take it back
Holes in our spirit causin' tears and fears
One-sided stories for years and years and years
I'm inferior? Who's inferior?
Yeah, we need to check the interior
Of the system that cares about only one culture
And that is why
We gotta take the power back

Yeah, we gotta take the power back
Come on, come on!
We gotta take the power back

Hey yo check, we're gonna have to break it, break it,
break it down
Awww shit!

Uggh!

And like this...uggh!

Come on, yeah! Bring it back the other way!

The teacher stands in front of the class
But the lesson plan he can't recall
The student's eyes don't perceive the lies
bouncing off every fucking wall
His composure is well kept
I guess he fears playing the fool
The complacent students sit and listen to some of that
Bullshit that he learned in school

Europe ain't my rope to swing on
Can't learn a thing from it
Yet we hang from it
Gotta get it, gotta get it together then
Like the motherfuckin' weathermen
To expose and close the doors on those who try
To strangle and mangle the truth
'Cause the circle of hatred continues unless we react
We gotta take the power back

Yeah, we gotta take the power back
Come on, come on!
We gotta take the power back

No more lies
No more lies
No more lies
No more lies
No more lies
No more lies
No more lies
No more lies

Uggh!

Yeah!

Take it back y'all
Take it back, a-take it back
A-take it back y'all, come on!
Take it back y'all
Take it back, a-take it back
A-take it back y'all, come on!

Uggh!

Yeah!

Strange love?

2005-03-16T15:23:00.000-08:00

Today I walked around the NSA wearing my Rage Against the Machine shirt, and otnight I sit here writing listening to Dave Matthews. Is this that fli-flopping I constantly heard about during the elections? No, not quite, but it does seem like some extreme differences. Rage gets me, well, I suppose angry could be the would, but it is more like pumped, and then DMB makes me sad. Especially the album 'Some Devil' makes me think about when my baby is going to leave me for Texas. And it makes me realize just hoe much I love her. Dave expresses my feelings in ways i could not possibly imagine.

I sound like a pansy don't I? I can't help but sound that way, I'm not a pansy, but I am emotional.

Yikes, that last sentence doesn't help me out one bit. Hmmm, I'm in touch with my feelings? That doesn't sound good either.

In any case, I just find it funny that I can go from Rage to Dave in one day.

My music isn't just opposites either. My fiance and I are opposites, the preppy cheerleader type with the quiet doesn't-really-fit-anywhere guy. She's different around me, but her traits are still there. It's not a bad thing, she's really fun to be with. She's just what I needed.

Other opposites:

I drive two different cars: A Bimmer and a Saturn.

I disagree with the government yet I work for them (That is changing)

Love computers and programming, hate math (supposedly they go hand-in-hand)

Love to write, don't like reading

Shy, yet I love attention (I'm a Leo after all)

Power hungry yet I dislike authority

You'd think I was one confused little boy, or man, but things work out this way. I get what I want done, and nothing seems to really screw things up. Sure I complain about every little thing that I find crappy about my life (ex: car, fiance), but things are really alright.

Just an observation.

******

Oh god, not another love song!

Dave Matthews: Stay Or Leave (makes me sad)

Maybe different but remember
Winters warm where you and I
Kissing whiskey by the fire
With the snow outside
And when the summer comes
In the river
Swims at midnight
Shiver cold
Touch the bottom
Starry night
With muddy toes

Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you did

Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing us
It was good good love
You used to laugh under the covers
Maybe not so often now
But the way I used to laugh with you
Was loud and hard

Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you did

So what to do
With the rest of the day's afternoon hey
Isn't it strange how we change
Everything we did
Did I do all that I should

That I coulda done

Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be
You and me
I want to be too
What day is this
Besides the day you left me
What day is this
Besides the day you went

So what to do
With the rest of the day's afternoon hey
Well isn't it strange how we change
Everything we did
Did I do all that I could

Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be you and me
I want to be too
What day is this
Besides the day you went babe
What day is this

The ground is nothing more than one point of view

2005-03-16T14:29:00.000-08:00

You know, if my fiance wants to be with me she will work it out somehow. And I don't mean this just in the long term. Seriously, if she really wants to see me, she will come and see me, she'll work it out.

I don't know if that is the correct point of view for the given situation, but that is what I think. It's not like I can do anything about it, if she can get out, she'll get out. All the asking in the world won't do a damn thing.

It probably is the wrong point of view, or attiturde, which ever.

My attitude is good in some areas though, moving for instance. Well, it's bittersweet anyway. The getting there part is, but the tone it is taking is a bit harsh.

I want to move to Taos, anf the attitude I have is: I'm doing this, how am I going to make it work? Which is a postive one, but then again it also takes on the attitude of: I'm doing this and if you don't like it get the hell out of the way. get onboard or get lost. That could be a bad thing, but when I think of this place I feel like everything just works for me. I don't feel this right about many things. And the things I feel this good about tend to stick around.... Hence the title fiance.

Taos fits my personality, and I think things will work out just fine. I don't have anything to hold me back. Which makes it seem so right.

I know things aren't going to be perfect, but I really think I will be happier there. It's just more my speed.

Only time will tell... and I guess money helps too. But I'll have enough of both when everything comes to a head.

Dave Matthews - Raven

What you got what you got in your hand? - a father said to son
I got the whole world here Daddy between my fingers and my thumb
Well you take care of it please - it’s the only one
Well it would take me a lifetime old man to undo what you’ve done
To undo what you’ve done

Oh come on now boy think what would Jesus do?
He shake his head like an angry mother - smoke the boy and say I did what I could do
But you take care of it please – it’s the only one you got
And it’d take ten lifetimes boy to undo what I’ve done

Boy shrugged walked away
The man stood and watched as he was leaving
Boy just walked away
The man stood alone thinking

One hand is bleeding and the other hand holds a gun
While everything is open everything is shut down, down, down
Begin to ending is really just a go round and round and round
As I stand here - the ground beneath is nothing more than one point of view

What you got what you got in your hand? Your secret’s safe with me
Well I found the truth friend let me whisper in your ear
Take good care of it please - it’s the only one there is
Can I twist it please can I give it just a little twist

Boy shrugged walked away
The man stood and watched as he was leaving
Boy just walked away
The man stood there twisting

One hand is bleeding and the other hand holds a gun
Everything is open now everything is shut down, down, down
No one is holding even if you even if your sure
You never know it all the ground beneath is nothing more than my point of view

Boy shrugged walked away
The man stood and watched as he was leaving
Boy just walked away
The man stood there twisting
One hand is open and the other hand holds the gun
Everything is open now is everything coming down, down, down
No one is hoping even if you even if you know
You never know it all - nothing more than, nothing more than my point of view

Boy shrugged walked away
The man stood and watched as he was leaving
The man stood there twisting

Dave Mattbews - Captain

Crazy as I may make my way through this world
It’s for no one but me to say what direction I shall turn
I am the captain of this ship
Curious hands and fingertips
Day after day how I long for you my love how I long

Strange but it seems like there’s a mutiny brewing inside me
But I don’t want your pity only the promise that you’ll stay with me tonight
Now I am the captain of this ship
Curious hands and fingertips
Day after day oh how I long for you like crazy

Oh our love - how you do me
Oh my love - come now lets go again
Oh our love - everything
Oh won’t play with me again got all night

Same old song won’t you come stay all my life after all
Oh how could I even try to fight after falling into your arms?
Oh mesmerized by your smile the way it lights up under your eyes
Oh how could I even try love won’t you stay with me?

Oh our love - how you do me
Oh my love - come now lets go again
Oh our love - everything
Oh won’t play with me again we got all night

The same old song
Won’t you come dance with me my love after all?

What the hell?

2005-03-09T14:07:00.000-08:00

What is wrong?

That's what I wanna know.

Why is it I can't stop thinking about separating from the one I love? Is it one of those things where if you can't have it you don't want anything to do with it.

Why is it I don't answer the phone when she calls and I'm going to avoid her until I can't stand it any longer? Why is it i know I'm not going to call her? What in the hell is wrong with me?

I want to be with her so badly. I want us to hang out like friends. I want her to just talk to me and not bring up what is up with me. I want someone to be with. i want a hug... damn it.

At first I thought I might need some time alone, but that's just dumb.

Ugh.

NIN - We're in this together

I've become impossible
holding on to when
when everything seemed to matter more
the two of us
all used and beaten up
watching fate as it flow down the path we
have chose

you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow
you and me
if the world should break in two
until the very end of me
until the very end of you

awake to the sound as they peel apart the skin
they pick and they pull
trying to get their fingers in
well they've got to kill what we've found
well they've got to hate what we fear
well they've got to make it go away
well they've got to make it disappear

the farther I fall I'm beside you
as lost as I get I will find you
the deeper the wound I'm inside you
for ever and ever I'm a part of

you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow
you and me
if the world should break in two
until the very end of me
until the very end of you

all that we were is gone we have to hold on
all that we were is gone we have to hold on
when all our hope is gone we have to hold on
all that we were is gone but we can hold on

you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow
you and me
even after everything
you're the queen and I'm the king
nothing else means anything

Confusion

2005-03-09T04:45:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal... I'm aggravated with my fiance but I'm not quite sure why. It isn't that I'm not happy with her for no reason; I have a reason, I just can't quite pin point if that is all there is to it.

The thing that gets me right off is just not being able to see her. But I know there has to be more to it than that. It's a mix of things, like knowing she is moving to Texas, and the last time I saw her she was trying to talk me into doing something I didn't want to do almost the whole time, and a few other things. It kinda seems like she is regressing into what her mother wants her to be, after she just stood up for herself. The only problem I have with that is that if this becomes a life-long thing I'm not gonna stick around for it.

I'm just starting to feel like if she is going to be gone, then don't put me through this anymore.

Why am I even thinking about this? I don't know. I'm seeing less of her lately, and it's one of those things where I'd be fine if I knew I wasn't going to see her, but it's more along the lines of I find out when I'm in the middle of not being able to wait to see her. So it's a let-down.

I think that is it... I'm afraid of being let-down. I'm afraid that when it comes time for her to come back here there is gonna be some stupid thing that keeps her in Texas. Or when it comes time for her to visit me something is going to happen and keep her away from me. And it bothers me further to think that it'll probably end up being her own doing that keeps her away, like not standing up for herself, or not thinking ahead of time.

Do I not trust her? That's absurd. I trust her, it's just that experience has shown me I have reason to worry about being let-down.

News in brief...?

2005-03-04T16:38:00.000-08:00

There are a ton of things to write about, but over the week my ambition levels have dropped so I have decided not to devote entire posts to each of my subjects. Maybe if I start becoming "un-depressed" it'll pick up again.

The Bimmer:

Well, I finally figured out what is wrong with my BMW. After much searching and reading I have found that one of the seals is leaking in my transmission. It's nice to know what is wrong, but I can't fix it myself so I'm a tad bummed. The last time my transmission was worked on I recieved a long-term warranty so I am hoping that this 'new' problem is under it.

My temporary tags have expired, and the police took note of it. I got pulled over for it and recieved 2 tickets and a warning, totaling $110. Later in the day I rescued my car from the senior center lot by switching my mother's Saturn tag to the Bimmer. I called the dealer to try and figure out what the deal was, and they told me I never picked my tags up from them. Since when do you have to get your tags from the dealer? Mine have always been sent to me. When I go to court over the tickets I'll explain the situation to the judge, who should throw out the case, at least that is what the officer said.

Fiance:

She has me in all kinds of confusion. I get a call from her in the middle of the night saying she has been kicked out of her house and now she is back home and it is as if nothing ever happened. It was a bit disappointing because I thought she was finally able to get out of her shitty situation. But, I can't say I didn't see it coming.

Tomorrow she is taking me to see one of her friends but on a show. It is all day and I have to get up at 6:15 in the morning. I'm not looking forward to it, but I am going for two reasons: 1. I never see her 2. It is easier to just go than have someone mad at me for a week.

*****
There are more things to write about, but again, the ambition thing... Plus, no one reads this crap anyway.

The thing about that is...

2005-03-03T10:44:00.000-08:00

Question: Am I depressed? Answer: How the hell should I know.

If I went by the commercials I see on the tele every day, yea, I'm one depressed sack o' shit. But honestly I'd call myself, lost. A year ago, before I had my job and my vehicle, I thought I was stuck in a time warp. I just couldn't get started... Stuck in a ditch. Then things got rolling and I thought life would be great, but it turns out that was a temporary high. A high from what? I can't explain it.

Nowadays, I feel almost the same way with the exception that I realize 'then' was nothing compared to 'now.' At this point in my life things really should get moving for me, school is at an end, I have a steady job, I have a car, and I am nearly 18. But, deception comes in many forms and I, well I, am not going anywhere.

I think I may be repeating myself here, but I'll go ahead anyway.

My girlfriend seems nonexistent, we talk on the phone, but that just doesn't cover it. My car is out of whack, I think it is kind of working, but that damned smoke gets on my nerve. And my job... well it sucks.

I can foresee two of the three being fixed in the future, the car and the job. But not the girlfriend part, because she is moving to Texas to go to college for a semester until she turns 18.

So do I have a solution? Not really... Unless waiting is a solution. I probably just need to find a hobby. Winter can really screw you up.

You know what? That's probably the problem... It's winter. It's cold. It's windy. And I am therefore stuck in the house ALL THE TIME. All this stir-craziness is driving me nuts. I have got to get out of here, out of this place... Reminded me of the Matrix for a moment.

I also want to go out looking for my own place, but it is really futile since I am still 17. Looking will only make me want to get out more and I won't be able to so in the end worrying about my own place will only make matters worse.

What to do then? Make the best of a crappy situation. How? When I figure that out I won't need a blog anymore.

*************
Excuse the crappy writing style, I wrote this in 7 minutes.

That damned car

2005-03-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

Alright, to start us off, I must explain the beginnings of this car. I own a 1989 BMW 535i. I bought it at the end of 2004 for $3300 total. Everything in it was stock, and it ran very well. The dealer sold it to me without a warranty, but nothing looked wrong with the car so I just bought it anyhow.

A month or so later I took it out driving for a bit of fun and the transmission died on me. Prior to that I used to always hear a weird knocking/popping noise coming from my muffler, or so I thought. I got the transmission done for $1800 which isn't bad considering the quotes given to me from most places were around $3-$5000. And that was great for about a week.

The old popping noise I heard went away, but it was replaced by a new noise and a vibration. Two for the price of one. I took the car back to the transmission place hoping I could blame my problems on them. Turns out the issue was with the drive shaft, it had no center bearing. How my center bearing/support suddenly went missing makes no sense, but it needed repair anyway. The guy at the shop said I could drive it, just so long as I didn't take-off fast. For a second there I thought he might of taken it out to make some kind of profit, but when I asked if he did that kind of work he backed out, so that killed my conspiracy theory.

I went to Baltimore to get the problem taken care of. Took the day off of work and school. I should have just stayed in bed. I'm not even close to Baltimore and I get pulled over in some big speeding sting operation on 295. Funny thing is, I was one of the slower people on the race track that day, but that's how those things work. When in Baltimore I half ass my way through the city to try and find this place. I get there and it looks like some kind of crack house with a bunch of mechanics running around on fork-lifts speaking some strange language... Romanian maybe. I try not to think to hard on it and I just leave the car there to pick it up later. Meanwhile, I freeze my ass of walking around the harbor waiting for them to call me. Towards the end of the day, and near their closing time I wander back in to see what is going on. They tell me that they thought I was just dropping it off and didn't bother working on it. This after they told me the day before that they didn't want my car on their lot.

Needless to say I never went back to them.

A couple days later I called up my most reliable mechanic to see if he would do it for me. He said it wasn't his kind of thing, but for me, he'd do it. BMW wanted to sell me the parts I needed for $700, a price I couldn't afford, so he went looking for a used drive shaft. In the end he couldn't find any, so I was left to figure out what to do. On the net I was able to find a drive shaft for about $400, I went with that and gave my mechanic the parts. Oh, and he said I shouldn't have been driving it, seeing as it was ready to break.

That all ended up costing me around $600, plus another car (I totaled my back-up car, a 1993 Chevrolet Cavalier, after the axle broke on me... I have the greatest luck).

So the repairs alone on this thing have cost me a few thousand dollars. I keep wondering if this car has been a mistake... But if it is one, hell if it isn't one of the most fun mistakes I've ever made.

As far as other costs go...

I paid about $700 total to get my sound system up to date. Pioneer speakers all around, JVC head unit, Alpine Amp, and an Alpine 10 inch Subwoofer. It sounds extremely nice, so no regrets there.

The next thing I'm worried about is this strange smoke that enters my car and comes out the side of it when I idle after a few minutes of driving over 45mph. It's come from where most of the repairs were done, and it is definitely oil, so my hope is that there was some extra grease that just needs to burn off. If not... I have to find a way to fix this myself, it's hard to look cool when your car looks like it is on fire. Especially on the school parking lot.

I had my eyes set on an E32 750il, but the words Driving Machine Disaster just don't appeal to me. I think my next car will be a Honda Insight. Unless I find this car some where.

********
Sidenote: Honestly, that '95 BMW 540i Sport isn't too much different than my '89 535i on the inside, but I'd still buy it in a heart beat. That car just oozes sexiness. Ha, that's pretty funny. But still, I find that to be one kick-ass bimmer. Better than the new ones in my humble opinion.

Shameless self promotion

2005-03-01T17:37:00.000-08:00

My old site FlamingPinkFlamingo, had well over a couple thousand hits, a number I can only dream of at the moment. I'm willing to try just about anything to promote my blog, short of advertisement anyway. It seemed that most of my traffic from my old site came from people who were searching for Dave Matthews lyrics. I really don't want a repeat of that. My goal is to attain a decent regular audience that adds some input into what write.

But how do I get that? Earlier today I was thinking about doing some kind of comic, kind of like alien-loves-predator. On second thought though, I'm leaning more towards just getting my address known and letting the writing speak for itself.

I do have to keep in mind however, that most likely anyone who has stumbled across this site has done so accidentally. With that in mind I may want to do something that just grabs your attention and confuses you so much that you just have to keep looking. Thing is, I don't know how to do that.

In fact... I don't know how to do much entertaining at all. Most of my relationships are based on the idea that if you don't like something about me, to hell with you, and if you do actually like me (how I am) go ahead and take a seat. So I'm not the greatest at advertising myself, I've just never felt the need or desire to. I've just always gotten lucky.

Can't live that way, luck won't carry me far, but hell, it's only a blog. And I'm only looking for a few comments anyway...

What's to know?

2005-03-01T16:24:00.000-08:00

I mentioned before, quite briefly, 'sometimes I feel like I don't know myself.' That certainly is a strange thing to say. And it could signal that I have some serious issues to work out. But issues aside, I guess I ought to explain myself.

It seems like everyday the clock is ticking down to the day when I become a full-blown adult, and I really don't feel prepared for it. I know the motions, but it's actually making the moves that I have problems with. I have said before that I know the ambitions I have, I just don't know how to start it all up. It's like having an idea for a great speech or novel but not knowing what the first paragraph is about. I know tons about my emotional self, I'm fairly emotional so it wasn't that hard to identify how I really work, it's what I will be happy doing that is a mystery to me. I'm so used to living in the moment and being able to switch between things freely without much consequence that actually having to get a set rhythm is an alien subject.

I think my major debate is whether I want to have a simple job and worry about my home life, or have a meaningful job and put my heart into that. I don't know why there is a debate, if I'm with my fiance whom I love beyond belief then the answer is simple: Get a simple job to bring in the dough so I can live like I want. I'd be happy with that, but for some reason there are parts of me that want to go out and enforce the law trying to make the nation a better place to live in. It just makes my heart ache to go out and do those things, but maybe it's just a romantic idea. Maybe I'm just looking to be a hero? Really though, if I had an answer to that would I be writing about it?

My ambitions change from week to week so I can't really make a solid decision. All I can come up with now is the following... I'm about to start a $30,000 a year job that can last me a few years so I might was well just start with that and let things roll.

I just can't stand feeling like I am in auto-pilot.

I shouldn't moan though, I've done more in 17 years than most people I know. It's a rarity to see someone in as good a position as mine, so I'm told. It just doesn't feel like it.

Things are missing inside of me. My love life is good, when it is existent... My job is okay, hopefully it will get better... My financial situation is not-so-good but it will get better... My self situation is... Well, I don't know...

Makes me sound kind of incomplete, a few months ago I felt better than I ever have before. I had just started a great job for the government, I was rolling the dough, my car was reliable, and my girlfriend could actually see me. Than that BMW came along... It broke a few times, took all my money, separated me from work, and put stress in places it didn't need to, like my relationships. So from time to time I think buying the car was a mistake. In all honesty though, the series of events that have led to my pseudo-depression aren't really connected, they just feed off each other. I just have to look towards the future.

Quotes:

In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.
Pliny the Elder
Roman scholar & scientist (23 AD - 79 AD)

I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.
Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 - 1900)

The Aforementioned

2005-03-01T06:39:00.000-08:00

Hopefully I used that word correctly, it doesn't matter much to me whether I did or not, but I figure this sentence can be used as a disclaimer in case it isn't correct.

I mentioned in another post that I don't think my girlfriend/fiance and I will make it through her tour in Texas (which is approx. 1 college semester). I guess I ought to do some explaining.... You see, my fiance is very friendly, and she is able to rack up friends where-ever she goes, I however am not so skilled. So I believe that she is going to end up making friends with a bunch of guys and thereafter fall for one of them because he is cute, funny, and pretty much everything else I am for her. And in seeing that this position can be filled by someone else she'll slowly lose her love for me and viola I'm out of the picture.

She says the same of me, but honestly I don't have the looks to pull off that kind of thing, and I'm a bit too antisocial. I could end up finding someone else, you never know, but I figure the only reason I'd break up with her is because I can't see her anymore. Which is a stupid reason anyway... We might as well be taking a break or something.

Another thing is that it seems to me that my life is a series of great ironies, and it would be just my luck to have something so great taken away from me. Let me reiterate... We seem like one of those couples who are so in love with one another that we make everyone else sick. You know, one of those couples that it seems like absolutely nothing could come between us. So I think it would be incredibly ironic to have circumstances beyond our control destroy our relationship. It used to seem like only an act of God could separate us... Well, distance does just as good a job.

The month's she will be spending in Texas will however prove whether or not we were meant for each other. We have always believed that because of the circumstances under which we met that we were meant for each other. I wrote about it in another place so I'll just skim over the situation lightly here. January 2nd, 2004 there was a lock-in at a church... I'm not all to friendly with the church so it is amazing that I even went. My friend kind of guilt-tripped me into it anyway. And it is amazing that she even went because she can NEVER get out of the house, it is insane how sheltered she has been. But coincidentally her friend dragged her there as well. Also, if she had quit cheerleading that year like she planned, she would have never met that friend. And if I weren't so anxious to get a girlfriend earlier that year I would have never talked to the friend that dragger me there. Around that time though I had given up looking, though I was about to start going out with another girl I knew on the Newspaper. Well, being locked in a church and all, there isn't all too much to do, and I ended up just wandering around a bit. Well, in my wandering I came upon this cute chick (soon to be cute girlfriend) quite a bit, I almost felt like and accidental stalker. As the night went on I became quite smitten with her, and we had breakfast together... Not really romantic though, sitting across from her at a plastic table with no conversation whatsoever. I don't think it mattered much, we were both delirious. When it came time to leave I almost asked her number, but chickened out. We left at the same time because our parents got there at the same time. When we talk about it now we both confess that we wanted to hug each other, but for some reason we didn't. So, if I didn't get her number how did I ever speak to her again? It turns out that my friend knew her friend and they got us all "hooked up." And from there it is pretty much history.

And to think I used to say I was comfortable with never seeing her again?

I find it ironic that only after I stopped looking for love, did love find me.

After writing all that, and reading it over, I feel like we might be able to make it. We have a few months left together so we might as well make the best of it. Plus, I can always visit her if I want.

Maybe we were meant for each other after all... Who knows? I guess we'll have to see?

Robert Frost - The Road Not Taken:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference

Blathering on...

2005-02-28T16:56:00.000-08:00

So my fiance won't look at the site because she is afraid her parents will yell at her if they find something on it. That's stupid shit, but whatever. Fiance doesn't look right in that sentence... Girlfriend would work a bit nicer, it fits the situation better. But she is my fiance, so I'm supposed to call her that even though I don't all the time. Anyway, back to the point, oh wait... There was no point to that, just felt like announcing to the world that my girlfriend would not be viewing this website.

Well, with that comes a different range of things I can write about. Things that would normally upset her to know that I think about. 'Cause I can get us in a whole mess of trouble just because I thought of something not so nice. The above makes it sound worse than it actually is... She just gets upset when I think about things like us not being together. Like how I think that we may not last anymore. I want us to, but I think something is going to end up changing when she moves to Texas this summer. The idea of complete freedom does sound quite nice though, but I also love to be with her, so it's hard. I guess all this thought was brought on by the fact that I haven't seen her when I was supposed to the past couple times and I'm becoming quite used to disappointment. My mom also went on a road trip, so now I have this urge to just go... Plus I watched The Motorcycle Diaries yesterday so the urge to run is just compounding. With my luck Jaime will send one of her friends over to check out my site, then I will be in trouble.

Who is reading this anyway...

I really need to figure out what I want to do with my life, or at least the first few years of it. I mean, I know the places I want to see and the things I want to do, but I don't know what it is I'll be doing in order to go out and do all those things. Where is my cash cow? My niche? What the hell am I gonna do for money? On the onset the answer to that question seems simple... Sex for money. But, I am not so lucky to be able to enter that industry. At the moment I really have the choice of one of the following three: IT, Law Enforcement, Auto Repair. In about a month I will have a $30k/year job with a contractor of the NSA fixing computers, but I don't think that is where I'll be staying, we will have to see though. IT seems kinda nerdy and simple... but maybe that it what I need. Law Enforcement is going to be trouble but fulfilling, and Auto Repair will save me lots of cash, but be a dirty job. There is more to it than that, but it gets the basic idea out there. I dunno, I'm sure I'll be blathering on about this kinda crap later on in my other entries.

Sometimes I don't feel like I know myself anymore

Cool site: Alien Loves Predator

Quotes:

Admiration is a very short-lived passion, that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object. ~Joseph Addison, The Spectator

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. ~Dave Barry

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. ~Author Unknown

God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins. ~Mark Twain

FlamingPinkFlamingo

2005-02-28T14:22:00.000-08:00

There was once this site named FlamingPinkFlamingo, and it was fairly decent for what it was. It got the point across in the rare moment that there was a point to be made. It was a place to vent, or express whatever other emotion someone might have. Well, one day the expression became too much, and the site caused more trouble than it was worth. In retrospect it actually did not, it served it's purpose though it was never consciously intended for the purpose it served. (If that makes sense) But before it could be realized that it was of use it was taken down. So in it's place 535i has been created.

Okay, it's a bit hard to write about this without using "I, me, etc" so from here on out the style has changed...

Anyway, I got a site up so I could get a fresh start on writing again. The name came from my Bimmer, I couldn't think of anything better, so I just used the series number. When I started creating this site earlier today my mission was to have a password set up so that no one who wasn't supposed to see the content would be able to. But, I found it a bit immature to (in a way) be hiding behind a locked door yelling profanities at the passers-by. Therefore there is no password, and I honestly don't care who reads it, I don't get too much fanfare in the first place. It's been said to me, and I pretty much already knew this, don't publish something if you don't want it read. So with that in mind I will continue tweaking my new site.

Well, I have more to say but I'm going to put it in another post...